


The Price We Pay

by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22502914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice
Summary: Sometimes Steve forgets about the weight around his neck.Everybody lives AU that plays with how the boys might keep on tiptoeing around each other for years before falling into bed together. Because canon's stupid.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 20
Kudos: 109
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2019





	The Price We Pay

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [janonny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/janonny/pseuds/janonny) in the [stony_stocking_2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2019) collection. 



> Written for Janonny's prompt:
> 
> _The arc reactor/nanite container that Tony gives to Steve at the start of Endgame turns out to be keyed to Steve. In a canon divergence world where Tony doesn't die, Steve carries it around as a keepsake and discovers that he can use it to create an armor designed by Tony just for him. Bonus: Tony also has Feelings when he sees Steve wearing his armor. Inspired by the concept art[here](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EKDsXV6W4AAD6QV?format=jpg&name=900x900), [here](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EKDufzkWwAYfdWU?format=jpg&name=medium) and [here](https://images2.imgbox.com/05/c8/FaFIvPIY_o.jpg)._
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Sometimes Steve forgets about the weight around his neck.

Well, that's not entirely true. He never forgets. He knows what Tony did for the universe, knows what it cost him (an arm and almost a leg and, in Tony's opinion, his good looks), so he could never really, _truly_ forget about the weight around his neck and what it symbolizes. But sometimes, every once in a while, the weight becomes so familiar that it feels almost like a part of him. Like something bonded to him skin and bone. Like Tony never really left him behind.

Like he never abandoned Tony in the first place.

He's used to those days coming and going, used to the ebb and flow of the familiarity of the yoke around his neck. Which is why he isn't expecting anything to change. Which is why, in the end, when everything does change, it takes him completely by surprise.

Because it's on one of those days, with one fist buried in a Doom-bot's face that Steve discovers just how much is hiding in the artificial heart Tony had slapped into his hands six years and a heartbeat and a lifetime ago.

 _Oh_ , he thinks as darkness swarms up over his vision. _Well. This is different._

* * *

Tony doesn't get to see it happen in person. He gets the news from the internet just like everyone else, except unlike everyone else he's with his nine year-old daughter when he he gets the alert from FRIDAY.

"Hey, boss. Cap's on the news."

"When isn't he?" Tony throws out, more interested in the game of Jenga he might genuinely lose to his daughter.

"You're gonna want to see this, boss."

Tony ignores the AI, easing another block off the tower. He smirks down at Morgan. "That's what you get for trying to best an engineer, little miss."

Morgan rolls her eyes and turns her concentration onto the tower. She tilts her head side to side, thoughtfulness on her features. Tony cups his chin in his artificial hand, his heart too big for his chest.

"Boss."

Tony closes his eyes. "I told you already, FRIDAY, I don't want to hear it right now."

"It's set as a priority one alert."

That stops Tony short. He doesn't have any priority on alerts linked to Steve. Hasn't since—

Tony's eyes go wide. "On screens, FRIDAY."

The video pops up on the screens behind Morgan, and Tony's heart stops. He'd known it would be beautiful. He'd always known. He'd designed the damn thing for the man, after all.

Still, none of that makes up for seeing Steve, in all his glory, wrapped up head to toe in Tony's nanotech.

"Holy shit."

"That's Mommy's word," Morgan says absently. Tony looks down at her, oblivious to the way her Uncle Steve is systematically destroying both the Doom-bots and Tony's sanity with Tony's weaponry. 

"I know, sweetheart," Tony manages. "My bad."

Morgan just tilts her head to the side and slips out a single block from the tower and places it on top. She grins up at Tony. "Top that!"

Tony turns back to the screen where Steve is still fighting his way through everything that stands in his way. "Not entirely sure I can, kiddo."

* * *

Steve holds it together through the rest of the fight; through the media interrogation, though Nat had fielded most of those questions; through the cleanup and the subway ride back to his apartment. Through it all, he keeps the suit on, staring down at his nanotech-covered hands as the train car rattles beneath him.

He should've walked. This is giving him too much space to think.

God. Had Tony known? Had he known what he was giving Steve when he'd slammed it into his hands ten years ago? He must have; the tech is too advanced and too keyed into Steve himself for it to have been anything else. FRIDAY's protocol had greeted him by name.

Steve closes his eyes. This is too much to process. The thought that Tony had not only handed him his heart all those years ago but also the key to all his tech is utterly mind boggling. But then, maybe not. What had Tony said when he'd handed Steve the nanite chamber?

_You find him. You put that on. You hide._

Steve traces his forefinger down the middle of his palm. He can't feel the way the metal scrapes against itself, but he can hear it. That tiny layer, tiny space between his skin and the outside world. Tony's life's work wrapped around him like a second skin.

Steve closes his eyes. It's long past the time he should have stopped hiding, but this — whatever it is — doesn't change anything between him and Tony. Nothing's changed.

None of it.

Steve's head is still going in circles when he makes it back to his apartment.

"FRIDAY, how do I—" Steve's throat catches. What if this was a one-time thing? What if this is the only time he gets to have this? What if this is Tony's last gift to him and removing it will break that last connection he has to the man?

"Yes, Captain?"

Steve slumps down on the couch. "If I take the suit off... if I take it off is it gone for good?"

"No, Captain. You will continue to have access to all of my protocols, including the suit, until the boss decides to cut off that access."

"So if he saw that on the news—"

"And he did."

Steve closes his eyes. "Right. Of course."

For a moment, he considers leaving the suit on and flying to Tony's place to demand answers. Better that than to lose this when he's just found it.

No one has accused Captain America of being a coward in a long time. Steve Rogers, though. Steve Rogers is coward enough for both of them.

"Understood, FRIDAY."

* * *

Tony's fully expecting Steve to come blowing in sometime in the next forty-eight hours to demand answers or throw the nanite chamber back in his face. So when a week passes with no sign of anything from Steve by the end of it besides a few small-time takedowns on Steve's part, Tony starts to get suspicious. The suit hasn't come back out in that time, but he can't shake the certainty that it's going to sometime soon.

He's not sure why it has him waiting on tenterhooks, but it does.

So when the suit finally does come back out ten days after the first time, Tony lets himself be glued to the TV until someone can nab Steve for a quote.

Steve doesn't disappoint.

"Captain America! Captain America, sir! A moment of your time!"

Steve looks haggard the second the helmet comes down. "What can I do for you?"

"Tell us about the new suit."

Steve frowns. "What about it?"

"It's clearly Stark's tech," the reporter presses, leaning in close to Steve.

"Clearly." Steve waves Natasha off when she tries to come his way. "You could have figured that out without asking me. What is it you really want to know?"

"Does this mean Stark is getting back into the superhero game? If he's building tech for you—"

"What Tony Stark does or does not want to give this universe is no one's business but his own. He nearly gave his life to save trillions of lives. What he does from here on out is up to him. He will always be a hero, even if he never puts the Iron Man suit on again."

"Yes, but—"

"If you'll excuse me."

Tony watches as Steve turns on his heel and marches over to Natasha.

"FRIDAY, zoom in."

FRIDAY doesn't ask for clarification. The video zooms in on Steve's back where he's talking to Natasha. Natasha is wearing that look she gets when she thinks someone is being particularly stupid. It has Tony's lips quirking up into a smile before he can try to stop it. It's a beautiful reminder of what he brought back, what he saved. It reminds him the way it always does that this was all worth it.

Now, if only he hadn't lost Steve in the process. That's the only thing that could have made this better.

* * *

Steve hadn't meant to go so long without making his way to Tony's place since the whole... thing with the suit. But somehow things kept coming up on his regularly scheduled nights with Morgan. Twice a month, Thursday nights, just him and Morgan and Tony, playing whatever strategy game Morgan had chosen for the week. It always tested all three of them to their limits in one way or another once limitations had been decided and doled out by her highness Miss Morgan. Tonight is a round of Roll for the Galaxy with only minor limitations for both of the adults. Steve isn't sure if that's because Morgan has missed him enough that she doesn't want to impair him too much, or because she can tell that both he and Tony are too distracted to make very good opponents tonight.

Bcause Steve had known that his head would be half in the clouds from the moment he set foot into Tony's house, but he hadn't expected the same of Tony. Something must be on his mind, and if Steve knows him at all — which, granted, he might not anymore — it's got something to do with the suit.

The game ends quickly enough, and then Morgan's hugging Steve and heading up to her room to get ready for bed. Tony lingers, and Steve almost offers to leave.

Almost.

Tony beats him to it. "You want to stick around for a bit? Grab a drink?"

Steve is careful to keep his face neutral, showing neither his relief at being asked to stay, nor his uncertainty about whether or not Tony is, in fact, referring to alcohol. "Yeah?"

Tony rolls his eyes, seeing through him easy as anything. "Yeah. Just let me get her ready for bed and then I'll be right back down. In the meantime..." Tony's tongue darts out over his lips. He casts his eyes down and away from Steve, and for a moment Steve wonders what's going on in his brilliant head. "In the meantime, make yourself comfortable."

Steve's hands ache to reach out to touch Tony, but it isn't his place anymore. Hasn't been for a long time. "Sure."

Tony lingers a moment longer, as though to say something else, but then he nods once at Steve, turns on his heel, and makes his way up the stairs. 

Fuck. Steve is in this so much deeper than he thought.

_Fuck._

* * *

Steve's lounging against the bar in the kitchen when Tony makes it back downstairs. Tony goes straight for the refrigerator and pulls out a can of soda, tossing another to Steve. Steve quirks an eyebrow at him, but Tony just rolls his eyes in return.

"Come on. We've got business to discuss."

Steve stands up a little straighter at that. "Right. Of course." He follows Tony into the living room and stands stiffly in front of him until Tony rolls his eyes and pats the couch next to him.

"Come on, Rogers. Take a load off."

Steve's face goes tight for the briefest moment, and then he's nodding again, settling uncomfortably down on the couch.

As soon as Steve's seated, Tony finds he can't do the same. He sets his can of soda on the coffee table and gets to his feet, pacing distractedly with his arms crossed in front of him. "Did you not know?" he finally asks. "Or did you just not want to use it until now?"

Steve blinks. "I didn't know."

Tony nods, turning away and continuing his pacing. "And you found out... how, exactly?"

"Accident. Not sure if I triggered it or if Doom somehow hacked your tech."

Tony scoffs and waves off the implication. He can see the way Steve's eyes catch on the glint of the low light off his prosthetic. "Doom can't do shit when it comes to my tech, you know that as well as I do."

"Maybe," Steve says. Tony can tell from the cautious, mischievous glint in Steve's eye that he's just trying to get a rise out of him. "Maybe not."

Tony rolls his eyes. "Low-hanging fruit, Rogers. You can do better than that.

"Sorry," Steve says, not sound it at all. "Guess I'm just out of practice."

Tony ignores the implication. "What were you doing wearing the chamber in battle anyway?"

Steve blinks. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You wouldn't just carry something like that around with you, would you? Come on. Not without knowing what it did."

Steve sets his own can down on the table and gets slowly to his feet. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because, It would just be extra weight weighing you down."

Steve's breath catches. "Is that really what you think of it?"

"I'm not saying _I_ think of it that way, I'm saying _you_ must have thought of it that way. If you didn't know what it did—"

"It didn't matter what it did, Tony. You gave it to me. The last thing you ever gave me after... well. After." He takes another step closer to Tony. "Of course I'd have it with me."

"What, all the time?"

"All the time."

Tony swallows, suddenly glad he'd forgone the desire to put anything alcoholic in his drink. "You have it with you now?"

Steve stares down at him, eyes bright with something Tony can't identify. "Always do."

Tony's chest feels tight like it hasn't since he'd had the arc reactor taken out. For as out of his element as he is, Tony doesn't think he's felt this powerful in a long time. He stands a little taller, taking a step into Steve's space. "Show me."

Tony watches Steve's throat work from closer than he ever has before. Then Steve's unbuttoning his shirt. Tony keeps his eyes on Steve's until he hears the third button come undone. Even then, he lets his eyes linger for a moment before flicking them down to the nanite chamber hanging on a heavy chain around Steve's neck. He reaches out, fingers tracing over the casing. He knows his own handiwork, remembers the way it had clung to his skin before he'd handed it to Steve. The casing is skin-warm and worn at the edges. He supposes that makes sense, if Steve's kept the damn thing on his person for the last ten years.

Tony's slides his fingers along the edges, ghosting the edge of his nail across Steve's skin. Steve's breath hitches, and when Tony looks up at him, his pupils are blown. Tony licks his lips. Steve's eyes dart to the movement and then back up to Tony's eyes. Tony keeps his eyes on Steve's before he deliberately taps the center of the nanite chamber twice.

The suit slips into place over Steve's skin, smooth and perfect and everything Tony hadn't known would get to him quite like this. He leans back far enough to take in more of Steve's form, but the second he starts to take a step back for a better look, Steve's arm snaps out around his waist, pulling him in close. Tony stares up at him and has a whole new level of understanding for the way people look at him when he's in the suit. He'd felt it with Pepper all those years ago but she hasn't put a suit on in years. This, though. This is everything he wants right now.

Steve's fingers tighten on Tony's skin, metal against skin and Tony almost wishes Steve gotten his hands under his shirt.

Tony looks up, wetting his lips once more. "You like it, then?"

Steve makes a wounded sound that heats something in Tony's gut, making him brave. Reckless. Desperate. Tony pushes up onto his toes and presses a kiss to the metal of Steve's suit. Steve makes that same sound again and then the helmet is retracting and Steve's reaching up with his free hand to cup Tony's face to his with every ounce of care it seems he can muster. Tony leans into the touch, his eyes bright with mirth.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Steve leans in, taking Tony's mouth in a deep, bruising kiss. Tony lets Steve hold him, the warmth of the metal enough to soothe him into wanting this and so, so much more. Things he hasn't lt himself want or even consider in years. Steve pulls back all at once, eyes wide and dark. "Oh shit, fuck, Tony, I didn't—"

"If you say you didn't mean it, I swear to you, Rogers, I will rip that suit off of you piece by piece."

"Tony—"

"Don't test me."

Steve's jaw snaps shut. He searches Tony's eyes, apparently not finding what he's looking for if the small frown on his face is any indication. "It— It wasn't a mistake. But I... I don't want to take what you're not willing to give."

Tony feels his face go soft and ridiculous in that way he's used to seeing on Pepper's face when she's with Happy. "You think there's anything I wouldn't give you, Rogers?"

Steve looks down at him, even taller than Tony than usual in the suit. He swallows. "Then call me Steve."

Tony nods once. "You've got it. Steve."

Steve's eyes go dark again. "And you want this? You really... you really want me?"

"I told you before, Steve, resentment is corrosive. I lived with it for three, four years. I'm done with it. I just want this. You. _Us_."

That seems to be the ticket. Steve leans down, tilting his face toward Tony for another kiss.

"Oh," Tony adds, and Steve pulls up short, his lips a hair's breadth away from Tony's. "And just so you know? You're keeping the suit on."

Steve stays still. Tony can feel his confusion, and can't stop the grin that ghosts over his features the instant Steve makes the connection. "You planned for that?"

"If wishes were horses," Tony says.

Steve leans in to kiss him again with a growl. He hitches Tony up and Tony obligingly wraps his legs around Steve's waist. "Good," Steve says just before tossing Tony down onto the bed. "Because I'm not holding back."

Tony smiles up, feeling at once elated and anticipatory as Steve crawls onto the bed above him. "Trust me, Steve: I wouldn't want it any other way."


End file.
